When I was a barista in France, we had a few regular customers that would grace us with their presence. A persons' coffee order really does reveal a lot about who they are.
"Double Espresso Lawyer Lady"
She was my favorite. Regardless of how long the line of people was she would come in and rush past everyone. She would quickly take a seat in the corner of our long, rectangular café.
"UN DOUBLE!" she would say in a classically , raspy voice that sounded like she had been smoking cigarettes since the 60s.
"Where are you from?" she asked me one time.
"New " I said.
"Ah, New York. It's hard to live there. I tried to make it there as an actress once."
"Really? What do you do now in Paris?"
"I'm a " she said
"What did you do before you lived in New York?" I asked.
"I was still a lawyer. It's horrible, don't do " she said.
"What do you really want to do?" I asked
"I'm still trying to figure it out." she rasped.
"The Landlord From Next Door"
She would always greet me ever so sweetly first thing in the morning after I had overloaded the garbage bins again.
"I spent all morning cleaning off all the grains of coffee!!! Don't do it again!!! Look at my back. It is breaking! This is ridiculous!" (in )
...oops. My bad, Madame.
"Miss American Greta and Mr. French Calloway: The Fashionable Gossipers"
Greta hailed from the Upper East Side of Manhattan and Calloway from the, equally wealthy, 7eme Arrondissement of Paris.
Greta would order a macchiato and never settle for less than the softest chocolate chip cookie, hand picked, by her.
Calloway would order his own unique version of a honey tea. We eventually called it "The Calloway."
Together, Greta and Calloway were best friends.
Apart, they were secretly resentful of one another. They would reveal to us baristas everything they hated about the other. I should have written it all down. It would have a great drama.
"The Green Lantern Man"
He would come in mid-day, never in a rush, and always with kind, but slightly tired blue eyes and a half-smile.
"With cinnamon?" I asked.
"Oui, si possible" he smirked.
He would hang over the bar and watch my hands gently forming a foamy, milk rosetta in his to-go cup.
suit each time and without fail, he would always say: "That milk rosetta reminds me of the opening scene of the Green Lantern film."
And I'd say (as if it were the first time): "Oh really? I'll have to go see it."
The above scene played about once a week for 6 months...I still haven't seen the film. Perhaps I will eventually.
"The Long Haired Spunky Woman"
She was the oddest by far.
She had the longest white hair and walked as if she had been an aerobics instructor straight out of the 80s.
She lingered for about 30 minutes each day and would dangle her espresso cup gracefully in the air as she ranted to us about all of her opinions about the weather or about coffee or about life and the world in general.
"Americans. You are all so funny! So fat! So fat and funny!"